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| OK, I am posting here today because my blog has been acting up and not letting me post. Not sure what the problem is, but anyways, brace yourself 'cause this is long.
Hello there (xanga) reader.
Here's my personally insightful comment of the week from a Wal-Mart co-worker:
"You are the most genuinely happy person I've ever met, and it's baffling. Every time I see you you're beaming, and that's not necessarily a bad thing."
Thanks Leroy. That totally made my day. I told him it was probably a combination of the fact that my mother is about the most happy person on earth, and the whole God thing and having that settled. I didn't want to sound all Christiany with cliches and lingo, but at the same time, I wanted to give credit where credit is due. That's been something I've been thinking about, and talking to Renee about, you know, how to be a witness, but in a genuine way that won't turn people off who have a pre-concieved notion about Christians.
I have found myself missing my TFC people lately, I think because I am only just beginning to form new friendships, and there is this longing and this pain for friendships of old that have strong foundations as opposed to these new friendships that could teeter over in a breath or start to grow, but slowly.
When you are removed from people you are close to, you lose a part of yourself that was wrapped up with those people. You must now face the pain of having to start over with other friends, nurishing an unsubstantiated hope that there will be positive relational fruit that comes from your input. But what is there to be afraid of? Nothing, Lisa, nothing. For there have been immense failures in the past, but when you look back, they weren't really failures, because God has worked everything and is working everything out for good. Not confusion, but God's clarity will have the last word in these matters; this I firmly believe, even though some nights I cry, wishing that all things would be clear right now.
I confess, sometimes I wish I knew the answer to the question, "Am I ever going to get married, and to whom, and at what time?" But not having a clue about these things is ok. It is ok because life is a lot bigger than that question alone. It is ok because I have a sense of purpose, I have close friendships, and God always hears me and is with me, even in my despair. It is ok, because I know that my situation is an incredibly blessed and advantaged one, and that many would trade places with me, a healthy young female with many opportunities ahead of her, and not hindered in any way from seeking out life the way life presents itself to her from deep inside her soul.
It is good for me to face this now. It is good for me to reflect on my life and consider my present state and come to terms with all the possible outcomes.
I have GGGGRRREEEEAAAAATTTT news.
I have put in my two weeks notice at Wal-Mart and am taking a 32 hr. a week job at West Jr. High being a Paraeducator. I am going to be working with students from a Boys Shelter who are in transition from their bad home situations and being placed in foster care. I will work with them in the regular classroom setting and will assist them with their studies where it is needed, and will also just serve as a friend to them during this tough, transitional time. That sounds so much more fulfilling and nice than Cashiering!! Thank you Lord for this wonderful opportunity. Also, the Jr. High has a great music department, and I might be able to help out with some of that stuff, especially in the Spring show, because of my music background.
Also, I'm going to be teaching piano lessons through the Lawrence Piano Studio, which just happens to be about a 1 minute walk from my apartment (no joke). God, you are amazing. Talk about good location! And West Jr. High is only a few minutes away as well. Guess I don't have to worry too much about those pesky gas prices.
Here is something from a book for single women that I've been reading here and there.
"Where Is Happiness?
I feel that this is the question every young woman should try to answer, even if she thinks she is well on her way to the altar. To deal with the question is to acknowledge that she has an identity and a definition other than as a potential wife. It is to take seriously her own existence as a responsible adult. It is to recognize that God relates to women directly, not only through men. While these items for recognition are obviousl on an intellectual level, they are not all that obvious when we are struggling with our emotions.
One reason it is important to decide where you are going and how is that your mind can accommodate only so many things at once. If you are concentrating on goals and growth and relationships, you won't have as much time to dwell on what you don't have. Also, when you are confident that you are going someplace, you feel a sense of purpose and are less likely to enter new situations and meet new people with the raw edge of hope that "maybe this will be the day, this will be the person." Such a poignant anxiety communicates itself, whether you want it to or not.
A woman who is forever waiting comes across as dependent. This may have been attractive in Jane Austen's day, but it is far less so today. We live in a fast-paced information society that assumes we have access to the information we need to make things happen for us. There is little patience with people who wait for things to happen to them.
A complication for many young women is that they were raised to think that they were supposed to wait for Prince Charming to come and kiss them into real life. Then they, like Pinocchio, would become real people. They, like Cinderella, perhaps misunderstoods, unappreciated, wouldn't have to fear, because the prince would come along eventually and be an exact match...
Somehow we have based out theology on Aladdin's magic lamp more than on the Scriptures, on the flying carpet more than on God's glass of reflection. This leads us to expect and ask all manner of things that are contradictory to one another and out of sync with life. When our prayers are not answered, we know someone is to blame, probably God. Or maybe ourselves, because we didn't pray right, or didn't have enough faith, or weren't good enough or attractive enough, or didn't have the right parents, and so on.
One indicator of maturity is the ability to face reality. Since there are more women than men of marriageable age, we must assume that many women are not going to find husbands. Some of the best women, in fact. I hope that as you examine the realities of your life, you will also examine God's ways with people, as shown to us in the Bible, and come to understand those principles which apply to life today.
If ever there was a woman who had reason to be unhappy... it was Helen Keller. Yet somehow - through the love of family and by the grace of God - she came to peace and to fullness of life. She expressed her thoughts in these moving words:
Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch Or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves."
What an amazing passage from a very insightful book! It has helped me to read this, and I hope it has helped you in some way, even if you're not a single woman. The principles still speak loudly to all of us I think.
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great day! You are a darling person. | | |
| I never post in this, except today. Why? To tell you of my new blog that has been existing for a little while now. I'm living in Lawrence, KS, and this is my new blog for my new, post-college existence. So if you want to know generally how I'm doing, check out this site: myrovingfeet.blogspot.com
OK? ok. Keep it real. That means, be honest with yourself and God, and go from there.
Bye, friend. | | |
| Ok, in that last post, for some reason all my addresses didn't show up, so....
my blog is at: lidalee.blogspot.com
my funny friend Renee Klitzke's is at: rannk.blogspot.com
and Abby, my other cool Nebraska pal's is at: ybbafever.blogspot.com
in case you want to check out these for a laugh and good time. OK, that's all. bye you funny xanga person you. | | |
| OK, so I have a xanga sight now? I'm slightly out of my element. I just wanted to be able to comment on Ronny's, but apparently in equipping myself to do so, I actually now have my own xanga sight - if I'm understanding this right. So I guess I'm writing on it now? You see, I already have a blog sight...
, in case anyone wants to check that out. But now what should I do? Continue that one, or become more connected with all you cool xanga people and switch over? But I'm just not sure, I mean, what is this world of xanga all about?
Hmmmm. Well, who cares, I might as well say hi to all you fun happy people while I seem to have found myself in your territory! HI!!!! The xanga people I know of are Ronny, Kelley, Joanna (though I havn't read hers at all yet, or Michial's or Kim's, but I will), and Ronny's funny friends David and Kyle. I think there are some others too that I havn't had a chance to check out. Oh yeah, and Leon's and Bethany's, and duh, Sarah's too. Wow, there's so many! I almost know more xanga people than blog people now. But my two great buddies from good ole Lincoln, NE have blogs. Theirs are super fun to read - is Renee's, she is so crazy, and is Abby's, my funny abbyface.
Wow, I have managed to write about practically nothing. I usually have more depth to my posts, but right now I just got done with over a week of insane play performances and I just got up from a needed nap, so, well, you know. The play was SO SO FUN though. Love it, love it. But now it's time to play the fun game known as catch up. So have some good times and I will see you lovely people around town and we will say things to each other like "Hi, how are you" and hopefully other stuff too. I am silly, but you really are too if you think about it. So go home and think about it. Bye! | | |
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